shinytoyrobots

Why I want Liverpool to win the Premier League

May 08, 2019

Last night Liverpool pulled off an amazing comeback in the Champions’ League semi-final. They turned around a 3-0 first-leg deficit with a 4-0 win at Anfield against Barcelona.

That kind of shit makes me miserable. I’m an Everton fan. I hate Liverpool. There’s never been a single game that I’ve wanted Liverpool to win. All these “support the city” or “they’re representing the country” is so much bullshit. I want them to get absolutely hammered in the Champions’ League final. But I’ve been experiencing the crap that is Liverpool for four decades now, so I’ve no doubt they’ll win.

Liverpool are also going into the last game of the 2019 Premier League season just behind Manchester City. They have a chance for them to win their first league title in about 30 years. They, and their fans, will be absolutely unbearable if they win. And it might even set them up for an extended period of success…anathema to an Everton fan.

But I’d still prefer them to win the league instead of Manchester City. And the reasons are very simple.

Liverpool FC’s owners don’t stone people to death.

A little more specifically…

  • Liverpool FC’s owners don’t stone people to death for having an affair.
  • Liverpool FC’s owners don’t flog people for having an illegitimate pregnancy.
  • Liverpool FC’s owners don’t execute people for changing their mind about their religion.
  • Liverpool FC’s owners don’t execute people for being gay.
  • Liverpool FC’s owners don’t torture political dissidents.

Manchester City are owned by Sheikh Mansour, member of the royal family, and deputy Prime Minister, of the United Arab Emirates. Manchester City’s chairman is Khaldoon Khalifa Al Mubarak, a member of the Executive Council of the United Arab Emirates, and one of the royal family’s “most trusted advisors”. These men are complicit in all of the activities listed above.

Liverpool FC are bad because they’re irritating and hateful and as an Everton fan it’s a nightmare having to deal with them. Manchester City are a vehicle to sportswash human rights abuse. And that sportwashing has worked to perfection.

The abuses of the owners of Manchester City are ignored, consistently, by the fans and the media in the UK and around the world who cover the Premier League. Criticism is brushed off as jealousy because Manchester City also have, essentially, unlimited money through the backing of the UAE government. Why wouldn’t their owners spend as much as possible to make themselves popular? It’s a drop in the ocean to them. It sucks, for sure, and it undermines football in general. But that’s a purely sporting criticism, it’s not a patch on killing people for adultery.

So, while I’ve been told by other Everton fans that it’s “disgraceful” that I want Liverpool to beat Manchester City to the league title, I’ll stick with it.

Everton fans can endure being lorded over by our city rivals (god knows, we’re used to it) better than a housemaid getting flogged for being pregnant, a gay man being executed for his sexuality, a political dissident being “disappeared” and tortured.


Robin Cannon

Random thoughts on culture, entertainment, politics, and the world today. robin-cannon.com for my more professionally-focused writing. @shinytoyrobots on Twitter.